This week on sky sports news +1 we take a look behind the scenes at clubs close to all our hearts, because we really know how you feel. This week, take a look at the fortunes of our lower league virtual manager with some profound results.
Here with the exclusive is our roving reporter S. J. Tomlinson.
Dr Kiddy has completed 1 calendar year at the helm of good ship Altrincham and we've been lucky enough to get access into the bowels of Moss Lame .Altrincham blew away all expectations this year to finish 22nd, 2 places above bottom, with 40 points. Many feel that whilst relegation is an annoyance, all it really represents its Dr Kiddys love of taking Alty on the road, to pastures new, spreading his seed and disease.
Alty had a rough sort of season, scoring the least (38) and conceding 98 goals (the most), 2 short of the golden ton, "maybe next year, eh!?", Kiddy postulated. But they gave as good as they got, for certain. Alty blew the record books to bits as they collected no fewer than 79 yellows and 19 red cards. Eddie Hussin, proud owner of 3 red cards in 14 starts,argued "if the league is full of pricks what need crocking, fuck em". Mr Hussin was allowed to leave Moss Lane in the summer.
Dr Kiddy certainly has made a name for himself as the 'Pol-Pot of non-league'. His no nonsense appoach to man management has turned Moss Lane into the footballing equivalent of the Killing Fields, dropping the axe on 24 players in the summer. "they were fucking useless at the end of the day". Sage words form the man in charge. "signed some sexy bastards tho". Dr Kiddy wouldbe referring to 18 year old prodigy Ben Kumi, a Ghanaian spring signing who achieved a brain melting average of 6.4 in 11 games at the end of the season, easily Altys best player, "fucking ace,i am ace, feel my weight, me mam's got me tea on and me dog thinks this is my best life choice". Remarkable young man.
We caught up with Player of the Year, top scorer and General good guy Rod Thornley who smashed 8 league goals for The Robins, in 1 season!! we asked how it felt to be so prolific,"got any spare change?" Funny old Roddy.
Many players did indeed take a (forced) pay cut as a result of relegation as the wage bill plunges to a limit of 5k a week, but the board are not tight! no sir, Dr Kiddyhas been given a war chest of 0 pounds this year to turn it around, "what the fuck is going on?", our thoughts mirrored by Dr Kiddy there, who knows where Alty got that kind of cash from.
So, a season of ups (3-3 away at Southport!) and downs (a 0-8 close home loss to Grays, alty ending with 8 men), lefts and rights and lots of spinning around. Colin Little has resigned for 120quid a week, less than a third than what he was on when allowed to leave to Rushden, his apparent love for the club shining through, "i thought i was getting a job as a bin man". Maybe you are son, maybe you are.
Well, Alty go to Lancaster away first game up, lets see if they can tear it up. Dr Kiddy obviously thinks so " i hope im dead by Christmas". Keep reading folks.
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