it finally happened. ive snapped.
i got up early and went to my placement. no one in, shut.
So back home i went, then got an invite to my mentors house for lunch, so headed down to the south of the city.
her old man wanted to drink some horrific home made poison with me. i obliged him.
i returned back to the flat im staying in, to be welcomed by what will hopefully remain the most surreal experience i have ever had in my life.
this fucking bonkers old Soviet Babushka im living with takes me into the bathroom and explains to me how to take a piss, honestly.
this is complete with sound effects and a rather graphic hand manoeuvring, im not totally wasted, but this is well beyond the realms of what im prepared to accept as reality. even at this juncture.
this is a step too far,
Or s it?
she then proceeds to take this one woman lunatic asylum show on the road, and not forgetting to bring her imaginary cock and making sure its making a good old psssssss ing noise, so i dont get too confused as to what it is shes holding, moves over to the sink and starts shouting, not in here, NOT IN HERE!!!
well, that was it for me. the 'straw' that broke the camels back. I was on the floor laughing quite loudly. 'funnily' enough she didnt seem to see the funny side of it herself.
once she'd gone off to answer the phone, probably to advise Vladimir Putin on state Fiscal Policy; Marcus the other volunteer im with explained that he had been subjected to exactly the same ritual hours eariler, and that dumbstruck he had simply been lost for words and basically ended up thanking her for her advice.
So please, ive you are having problems with utilising toilets, and end up making a mess, defecating all over yourself, pissing on your hands etc,
please write to
Ms X, Toilet Usage Specialist
Str Ion Ceranga ***
Ap *
Chisinau
Moldova
MD 2**4
No comments:
Post a Comment