Dr Yes

Camera pans in towards a smouldering volcano, Thunder crashes in the background as Lightning intermittently lights up the scene.

Cuts to a huge dark hall in a classical style. Its almost pitch black, but the lightning lights up the room through the huge windows revealing ancient portraits that adorn the walls, cobwebs hang from them, covered in dust.

Huge doors at the far end of the room open slowly, creaking loudly as they strain on their hinges. A large well-dressed man walks through slowly carrying a brown suitcase. As he walks down through this huge room his shoes make loud tapping sounds as their leather impacts upon the thick bare floorboards. Eventually he stops, at the other end an open fire crackles, our view of it obscured by a large chair.

The chair slowly starts to turn; it reveals a bald, diminutive man. He strokes a white cat sitting on his lap. He looks up at his guest. His look of indifference suggests he was expecting his visitor.


"So, Meester Abramovich, ow much you got to lift da embargo innit?"


"I hear Vinny Samways is coming out of retirement in the next window, I mean of all the fucking times to do this. Just tell me what you want this time!"


"Ok, A tells ya wat, wat about ya gives us a dog to suck me cock, and me an us fifa mates let this go away innit, ay?"