Golf ball in bucket over telephone line World Series Finale in Hothersall *Spoiler warning*

News agencies from around the hamlet gathered at White Lion Farm Hothersall, Preston, UK over the weekend to witness the inaugural Golf ball in bucket over telephone line World Series Finale. The finalists had traveled far and wide to make this prestigious competition from all corners of the globe. Gordon Mouso Brick put in the most mileage traveling from Methven Canterbury, New Zealand; Mr. Wittox had a leisurely 60 miles down the A59 from Liverpool; but the main contender and betting favorite (evens) A Gornall had to simply roll out of bed.

The crowd was here primarily to see Gornall due to his title as current ‘In off the bar from outside the 18 yard box World champion.’(In recess). A title held for a record 8 years since 2001, when it was won in monsoon conditions at St Martins all weather pitch in Lancaster; The longest ‘in off the bar’ champion the series has ever seen. It was also for this reason that Hothersall was chosen from a preferred list of international venues.

Clouds threatened rain but as the time came to tee off the threat had passed and sunshine enveloped the arena. All entrants struggled at first, putting out a series of range finders to gauge just what technique was going to work best. Underarm followed overarm and GMB even experimented with an audacious ricochet off the beech tree. In the end the competition settled down and a traditional ‘underarm lob’ was used exclusively due to the perfect weather conditions and venue setup.

The crowd were silenced after just 3 hours 36 minutes of play as the rank outsider Wittox landed a plum shot smash bang into the centre of the bucket, it had clipped the line on its way down and stukaesque dive-bombed the bucket to perfection. The resulting metallic Bang was followed by a huge collective gasp of breath from the sidelines only to be followed by a loud OOOHHHHHH, as the ball mischievously bounced straight back out of the bucket and landed on the turf, a picture of perfect impertinence.

This scene was to be repeated over the next 5 hours as the ball clipped the rim (rim job) hit the outside of the bucket (out job) and bounced out having gone in (a right bastard). This none stop action kept the crowd on the edge of their seats throughout the day, until finally Gordon Mouso Brick broke the deadlock and with it Gornalls stranglehold over the entire sport after an exhilarating 9 hours 47 minutes of play.

A delighted Brick was “Well happy” with his win and promised to continue to take the sport to the world.

The next Golf ball in bucket over telephone line World Series Finale is due to be held some time this century in a venue yet to be confirmed.